Revenant
by wizardsinthetardis
Summary: They couldn't put the candle out but had to leave it burning until the fire ceased and what was left was a pile of melted wax, stained with memories of the past. 11/Amy one shot, minor spoilers and a bit angsty, but I still hope you'll enjoy it!


**Hiya guys! :)**  
><strong>So, if you've seen my last AN on The Secrets That We Keep, thanks for sticking with me. Maybe if I get the time, I'll rewrite it or continue it, but in the meantime have this fic. It's a bit angstier than anything I've ever written, but I'm really proud of it, and I hope you like it :D It's lightly inspired by the song "Six Months" by Hey Monday, which you should definitely listen to!**  
><strong>A billion thanks to my best friend Celine for BETA-ing this for me, and generally being awesome :)<strong>

* * *

><p>"Oh, Amy." The Doctor put his arms around her, high up on the balconies of Verona, looking out at the tips of houses and trees that glimmered in the moonlight, soon to be reduced to shadows and blurs and distant memories.<p>

"We don't have to leave," said Amy, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"But we do." The Doctor sighed and gave her the faintest of smiles. "There are millions of other places we could visit, and you want to stay here? Think of all the things we could do-"

Amy's frown cut the Doctor off.

"What?"

"You never settle down, do you?" Amy broke away from their embrace to look at him.

The Doctor shifted uncomfortably.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'd get too bored."

She laughed.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry," Amy whispered.<p>

She kissed the Doctor quickly on the lips, and ran away from the TARDIS, her heart breaking more and more with every step she took, feeling as if her world was crashing down, the world she had spent painting with the Doctor. Every adventure they had had, every moment in time and space they had spent together had gradually molded itself into her life, her world.

The Doctor stood dumbfounded in the TARDIS' doorway, tears cascading slowly down his cheeks.

_Live well and love Rory._ That's what he had said. But had he really meant it?

He closed the door slowly, regretting all the things left unsaid, all the looks ignored. He leaned against the door and cried. Just cried. He would remember all the good times, and the bad times- and he didn't think he could move on, but she had done, so he supposed it was possible, but not really.

Amy looked back, expecting to see him just standing there, waiting for her to look back and realize she couldn't leave, she couldn't leave him there, and she'd come running back, just like she always did, into his arms.

But all she saw was a TARDIS with a shut door.

So she ran back to the Doctor's beloved ship, and leant against the door, weeping silently, for he wasn't the reason she had decided to leave, it was what was waiting for her in Leadworth, boring old Leadworth, and even if she tried she couldn't leave it behind, she couldn't leave Rory alone, just waiting like he always had been.

Only a doorway separated them- if either walked through that doorway it would change everything, it would mean everything from something important like fish fingers and custard to other, less important things, but not that less important or else everything else in the world wouldn't have meaning at all. Things like love and adventure and zigzag plotters, and crazy aliens that wanted Amy Pond for themselves though couldn't have her, because she always came back to her Raggedy Doctor, who was always waiting for her to grow up and realize she couldn't be with him forever, but while she was still a child he wanted her for himself, he wanted to show her the world.

But what really separated the pair was fear. Fear of loss and fear of love.

Every minute spent ignited a spark between them, and it couldn't be ignored nor treated, and so they just went on with their lives hurting with the happiness they gave to each other, each hug and kiss on the forehead felt like home and at the same time felt like pain, the realization they couldn't put the candle out but had to leave it burning until the fire ceased and what was left was a pile of melted wax, stained with memories of the past.

* * *

><p>Amy sat alone on her bed and crossed her legs.<p>

Night was falling over the cool September night as she realized it had been six months.

It had been six months since she had left the man she truly loved behind.

_Live well and love Rory._

That was what he had said to her before he entered the crack in time.

Could she live well if she loved Rory? She could imagine a life without Rory, but she couldn't imagine a life without the Doctor. Six months ago, she couldn't imagine the life she lived now.

Sobs racked her whole body as she got down from the soft mattress and felt under her bed until her hand landed on the box. She took a deep breath, and lifted the TARDIS-blue lid, feeling her throat lock up as she lifted the very first piece of paper from the top of the pile of memorabilia.  
>It was an entry torn off from the pages of her diary.<p>

_Today, I met a very strange man._

Amy smiled faintly at the vague and almost unworthy description she had given her Doctor all those years ago.

_He said his name was the Doctor. It's a strange name, but I don't mind. Everyone thinks I'm strange, but he didn't seem to care._

A tear fell on the battered piece of paper, forming a small blot on the word _Doctor._

_He asked me for an apple, but hated it. Then he ended up eating fish fingers and custard._

Amy leant against the headboard and laughed despite her current state.

_He said my name sounded like a name in a fairytale._

Amy thought she would run out of tears, but they kept flowing as she looked down at the last few sentences.

_He seemed to know what to do to fix the crack in my wall, but he had to leave to fix his time machine. He said he'd be back in five minutes, though._

Amy turned the paper over to find more words scribbled on its surface.

_It's been five minutes now, but I'm going to wait five more minutes._

_Maybe his ship broke down, but I'm sure he'll come back._

Amy's cries erupted endlessly, as she realized she had left him this time, she had failed him this time.

She looked at the various cartoons she had made, the dolls she had sewn, and even the raggedy tie Rory had worn that time he dressed up and draped the shed with a blue bed sheet, pretending to be the Doctor.

Every item in the box had meaning to her, had a beautiful memory attached to it.

Once again, the feelings of pain and regret washed over her. But she couldn't turn back.

There was nothing she hated more then she hated missing him.

* * *

><p>"No! He's getting away!"<p>

The Doctor ran as fast as he could, away from the aliens trying to attack him.

"Hurry up now, Pon-"

After six months, he still hadn't gotten used to the fact his Amelia Pond had gone on to live her life.

He reached the TARDIS, and slammed the door behind him. He raced up to the console. He knew every single wibbly wobbly part of that console just like he knew everything about Amy Pond.

He quickly typed in the first destination code that came to mind and caught his breath.

It had been six long months trying to save countless people and civilizations, but without his fiery red-headed companion, things had been much harder than he had anticipated.

He tried to deny his feelings for Amy, but couldn't seem to face the fact he had fallen in love with _his_ Amy Pond.

Every month came and went, and every month he was reminded of what he had lost- a best friend, a companion, a confidante, a life saver- and he couldn't bear the pain of each minute spent without her.

_It's always been her choice,_ he would reassuringly tell himself. _Amy's choice. Not mine._

But the hurt, the regret, the empty feeling in his gut, and the longing for the comfort he found in strawberry scented shampoo, short skirts, sweaters, and Scottish accents was inevitable.

Just the sight of her felt like home to him, the one constant factor in an ever changing environment and period in time.

He landed the TARDIS but didn't come out, drowned in his thoughts, and wishing Amy could be there by his side where she belonged.

* * *

><p>Amy was still drowning in memorabilia and tears by the time she heard the familiar noise.<p>

She rushed to her window, just like she had every time she heard a snapping tree branch or leaves swirling in the wind. Every time, she would leave the window disappointed and guilty of the pain she had brought upon herself and most importantly, him.

But today, here she was, looking at the familiar sight of a blue box in her garden.

She wanted to jump out her window, back to him, back to his open arms and his stupid bow tie and tweed jacket. He would hold her in his arms and she would cry, and he would kiss the top of her head and tell her to never leave him again and she would assure him she wouldn't.

But an invisible force seemed to be pulling her back, back to the life she lived now, back to her house with too many rooms, back to Rory.

She was running- running from time itself, running faster every day, afraid the anger and the hurt and the pain would catch up to her, would drown her in the lies she had told herself.

But she wasn't going to lose the chance that had turned up in her garden, just like it had all those years ago.

So she ran out of her room, out the door, silently saying goodbye to her house with too many rooms, goodbye to Rory, goodbye to her life, goodbye to Aunt Sharon, goodbye to Leadworth.

She realized no matter where she was or what she did, she would always be running.

* * *

><p>Memories of the times they had spent drifted in the Doctor's mind, forming a vivid picture of The Doctor And Amy- they couldn't be described in words and so he put together a beautiful painting in his head, leaning against the console and thinking about Losing Amy Pond which was a different picture all together.<p>

Then he head a knock on his door- thirteen knocks, to be exact.

Only one person knew to knock thirteen times.

* * *

><p>"<em>Thirteen<em> times? Why _thirteen_?"

"'Cause it was the first number that came into my head."

"Why not a slightly smaller number?"

"Thirteen's our code, so I know it's you and not some crazy alien trying to kill me. Besides, what fun would one digit numbers be?"

* * *

><p>He threw open the TARDIS doors, almost afraid of what was behind it.<p>

All he saw was Amy Pond, looking small and frightened and hurt and relieved and _happy_ at the same time, and he didn't know what else to do so he crashed his lips to hers.

* * *

><p>"Don't leave me again. Don't leave me <em>ever<em> again." The Doctor looked at Amy from underneath his fringe, tears gathering in his eyes, remembering what he had felt when she had left, and at the same time he was trying to forget, trying to make sure it would never happen again.

She smiled a sad smile, a smile tinged with guilt but was mostly composed of reassurance and love, and she assured him she wouldn't.

* * *

><p>"I love you," she said, snuggling deeper into the Doctor's warm body.<p>

"I love you too, Amelia Pond."

* * *

><p><strong>So yeah, I've tried to improve my writing and make it more descriptive and stuff, and I hope it paid off. Teehee!<strong>  
><strong>Leave a review? :3<strong>  
><strong>Thanks for reading, lovely person!<strong>  
><strong>xo Bianca<strong>  
><strong>PS: Looking for a new BETA in case Celine isn't available. Anyone up for the job? :D<strong>


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